The Jerk

If there is one thing that I have learned (ok I have learned many, many things) but one important thing is that every once in a while you may come across a jerk. There is no shortage of them in the world. They may be that individual that yells at you at work, the person who did not hold the door when they saw you struggling with groceries or perhaps it is the guy you dated in the summer who completely did a 180 and left you very confused. It happens. There are a few things that you can do:

  1. In the case of the work jerk you can be equally rude right back. If you work in the service industry you can make their morning latte a decaf with whole milk instead of nonfat. Chances are if you annoyed me while I was making your morning latte that is what you got.
  2. The inconsiderate grocery jerk. Well there isn’t much you can do unless you want to hang out in front of your building until you see them and return the favour. Or you can be extra sweet to them the next time you see them. Kill ’em with kindness!
  3. In the case of the summer jerk there are many things you can do. You can cry to your girlfriends, you can eat something sweet or salty or both-whatever fits your fancy, or my personal favourite – drink copious amounts of wine and then text him incessantly with incoherent messages. He’ll love it and you’ll feel even more embarrassed when you wake up to read them the next morning.

While I have tried and tested these remedies, I have also learned that there are better ways to deal with a jerk situation. Go for a run. Even if you cannot run for more than twenty minutes, it is twenty minutes of stress-busting and feels a lot better than half a tub of Ben and Jerry’s. Call a friend and rant it out…just remember to be open to listening to their rants the next time they call you! Go to the gym and lift some heavy weight. Seriously, nothing feels better than the burn after the gym. You may still feel slightly annoyed but you will also feel exhilarated from endorphins. If you want to try something pretty kick-butt then try this combo circuit.

And in terms of the summer jerk, scale back on the wine or hand your phone to your best friend for the night to prevent accidental texts. Spend time with friends, take the trip you’ve always wanted to and remember that good things happen when you least expect them to.

Lastly, after all the running and weight training you will be ravenous! Try this jerk sauce on tofu or seafood. The recipe below is for grilled jerk scallops with black bean and edamame salad. Enjoy!

Grilled Jerk Scallops with Black Bean and Edamame Salad

serves 2

1/4 cup jerk sauce (recipe below)

12 large scallops

1 can black beans

1 cup corn

1 cup edamame

1 tsp cumin

2 tsp smoked adobo chili sauce

2 tablespoons cilantro, chopped

1 lime, plus 1 tablespoon lime juice

1 tsp raw honey

cracked pepper and sea salt to taste

Directions

  1. Marinate scallops with jerk sauce for at least twenty minutes
  2. While scallops marinate, whisk the lime juice, adobo sauce, cumin, cilantro, honey, salt and pepper.
  3. Add the corn, black beans, edamame and cilantro. Toss to coat
  4. Preheat grill and grill scallops
  5. Plate salad on two places and top with scallops

Jerk Sauce

1/2 cup pimento (allspice berries)

1/2 cup brown sugar, packed

6 -8 garlic cloves

4 -6 scotch bonnet peppers

1 tablespoon ground thyme or 2 tablespoons thyme leaves

1 -2 bunch scallion (green onions)

1 teaspoon cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg salt and pepper

Directions

  1. Put content in a food processor or blender and liquify
  2. Pour sauce in a jar and keep refrigerated.
  3. The sauce will keep  if kept refrigerated
  4. To increase spiciness blend pepper and pimento and add to sauce the hot peppers at any time.
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